


"Promise me, you'll move on"

by Glandire



Category: Ebon Light (Visual Novel)
Genre: Brothers, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 09:33:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13633569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glandire/pseuds/Glandire
Summary: They were ready for her to get old and die eventually. But since she perished even before she had a chance to become old, it crushed them with unexpected force.





	"Promise me, you'll move on"

It was all because of Alenca. The girl showed up in their lives out of nowhere, turned everything upside down and finally disappeared into nothingness, leaving scars and unresolved conflicts behind.  
Ernol sighed. He was standing on the doorstep of Haron's house and could not find the courage to knock. Last time he was here, about half a year back, they had a serious quarrel, which strained their bond quite severely. He remembered it all too well... 

They both cared for her. Deeply. And they both knew it. But surprisingly that was not the reason of them drifting apart. In the very beginning they just silently agreed it's up to Alenca, to make a choice. And she chose Haron. Not like Ernol was surprised. It hurt him when it happened, but he was expecting that. He tried his best to hide his suffering, but in the end he could not fool Haron. That damned brat saw through him like no one else. 

So they talked about it, even if it took a lot of determination and effort on the Haron's side to make Ernol spill his heart out. After all it was very important. 

But it was all very fragile. Even with best intents in mind it was far away from perfection. Haron - almost against himself, was trying not to be too affectionate towards Alenca when Ernol was around. Ernol felt guilty about it, and at the same time, every time when he was catching a glimpse of their feelings, he was hurting all over again. He wanted to be happy for them, since they were both so very important, but it was not so simple. But he did try. 

In the end it all crumbled, when Alenca fell ill. At first everyone thought, it was a matter of simple cold. Bit of coughing, a little weakness. But it turned out, whatever took a hold of her, was quite deadly. The search for a cure consumed both Milirose brothers. In that crisis, for a while, they even felt closer yet again, united by common goal and want of saving the woman they both loved. 

But then, Haron became almost obsessed. He was acting against reason, making hasty and pointless decisions, trying to catch even the slightest hope, even if it was coming from obviously foul charlatans. Ernol did not approve of that. Not only because it seemed pointless, but also because every failed attempt was making Haron even more desperate. 

It even started to take a toll on Haron's body. He got thinner, got dark circles under his eyes and was wearing himself quite messy, not caring about appearance in the slightest. And sometimes, his eyes were glowing with something dangerously similar to insanity. Ernol gave up. He figured out, at this point they should rather cherish the time they had left. But it was not his place to do so, and since his brother was still consumed with unhealthy obsessions, he decided to intervene. 

"Haron... You need to let it go..." 

Ah. That sentence started a storm. A quarrel. A long string of hurtful and unnecessary words, neither of them really meant. 

"I bet you are glad! In the end none of us will have her..." He knew Haron regretted it as soon as it escaped his lips. But it was too late to take it back. Ernol got out of the mansion in anger, slamming the doors, and cursing under his breath. He ignored Haron calling his name with a desperate voice of a person, who just realized a gravely mistake. 

He was too proud to turn back, especially since his eyes were dangerously stinging. 

Regret came later. But with every passing day, it was more, and more difficult to get back and make things right. 

So, he spent six months hurt not only by what happened, but also by guilt, and the feeling of emptiness which was consuming him more and more. He would never say it out loud, but he was missing his annoying, bratty brother. He was also afraid for him, since he knew in what state he left him. 

It took a word about Alenca's death, to finally push him into coming back. 

So, there he was. 

He finally knocked.  
His heart was beating loudly. In all honesty, he had a great urge to just run away. But he stayed. He had to get things right. And he had to check on Haron. 

But so far, nothing happened. 

He knocked again, feeling even more uneasy than before. He asked Duliae, to find out for him if Haron was still living in the same place, and he was "kind" enough to confirm it for him ("Go, sort it out, you're unbearable as it is. And I mean, more than ever."). There was no place for a mistake then. 

Silence. 

He knocked for a third time, and when nothing happened - yet again, he decided simply try opening the doors.  
It worked. Just like that. Ernol felt knot of uneasiness tightening in his stomach even more. That was certainly not looking good. 

The house seemed almost abandoned. It was dark and dusty inside, but he had enough faith in Duliae's information to keep going forward. He spent a good while going through different rooms, to finally find Haron in the bedroom, or rather in a room which used to be a bedroom once.

Ernol froze. 

It was a complete mess. Tapestry was stained with wine, the broken bottles were lying around almost everywhere, curtains were ripped and stained as well, some chairs and tables damaged beyond repair. There was even a broken window, but even with that, there was strong scent of alcohol and rotten food in the air.

In the middle of it all, there was a tiny figure, sitting on the floor, with a wine bottle in hand. 

He was even thinner now, and paler - if that was even possible. The hair, about which he used to care so deeply was messy, and a bit too long. Clothes looked crumpled and ripped as well. But the worst of it all was the look of complete emptiness on his face. 

Certainly, there was a rage before, and the state of the room, was the best proof of that. But now, there was nothing left. 

Ernol cursed himself. It was at least partly his fault wasn't it? Leaving Haron alone months back. 

He glanced nervously towards the bed, fearing, in the middle of it all, to find dead Alenca as well, but to his relief, she was not there.

Did someone take care of the funeral then?  
Did Haron?  
Alone?  
He didn't even want to imagine that...

"Haron?" His voice was quiet, and very uncertain. His brother did not move even an inch. He was just carrying on sending a blank stare towards the wall.  
"Haron..." He was firmer this time, crouching next to younger brother, and gently shaking his arm. The only response he got was Haron taking a sip from the bottle. Ernol frowned and tossed the wine away. Collection of broken bottles grew yet again.  
"No, you certainly had enough as it is." As to confirm the accusation, just few seconds later Haron bend to the side, just to start puking.  
For a moment Ernol felt hopeless and a bit panicked. But he managed to conceal it and focus on his new-found determination. He had to put Haron back on track. Even though he did not know how, yet. He did hope however, that sobering his brother up will change things at least a bit.  
Trying to ignore the disgusting smell of the vomit, he put a hand on Haron's back. It looked like younger elf was done with emptying his stomach.  
"Let's get you to a bathroom, for a start..." Yes, taking care of a messy look was certainly a good beginning. Ernol put his brothers arm behind the neck, and stood up, forcing younger sibling to do the same. For a second, he could swear he felt Haron's gaze on him, but was not entirely sure. Could be his imagination.

*

It took him a while, to drag Haron through the halls, and when they finally reached the bathroom they were both short of breath. The funny thing was, trying to get his brother out of the disgusting clothes, and forcing him to get into the bathtub, made Ernol feel a bit sentimental. For a short moment, he felt almost as if they were back to being kids. Ah. Things were certainly simpler back then... In different circumstances it would probably even make Ernol smile a little. But it was nor the time nor the place for exploring happy memories.  
Focused on sobering his brother, Ernol decided to put a bucket of quite cool water onto Haron's head first. To his disappointment that did not achieve much however, so he was merciful enough, to fill the rest of the tub with warmed up over the fire water. Older brother put a sponge in Haron's hand and sighed quietly.  
"You need to help me out with this. At least a bit..." He was trying to catch Haron's gaze, but his brother seemed to be somewhere far, far away, looking straight through him, into some unknown space. He did however put a sponge to his skin, and started to clean himself with blank, mechanical moves. Ernol swallowed, trying to get rid of a tightness in his throat. It did not help. He tried to focus on something else then, putting soap onto his brother's head, and gently starting to wash his hair.  
"Certainly, was some time, since I did that..." Ernol's voice was surprisingly gentle, and for a second it seemed, that Haron reacted to that, but that little light in his eyes was gone as quickly, as it showed up.

*

It all took way longer than it should, but what mattered most was Haron sitting on the chair, cleaned up and in fresh clothes. Ernol was drying his brother's hair up with a towel, frowning a bit. It was no good like that.  
"We need to cut it. Are you even seeing anything like that?" There was still no response, but at least younger elf looked tiny bit better out of tattered and stained clothes. Even though he still was like a sad shade of his past self.  
"Try not to move too much..." Ernol was not an expert in the matter of hair cutting, but he was confident enough not turn his brother's head into complete disaster. Probably.  
It was all going rather smoothly, till a point, where Ernols heart stopped for a second, and his hand slipped a bit. All because he noticed that Haron was crying -silently, without shaking shoulders, or a tiniest sound. But there were the tears rolling down his face.  
Ernol swallowed.  
"She was cutting your hair, wasn't she..." He hesitated for a moment, before continuing with the job. Even if it was painful for Haron, any sign of emotion was better than emptiness. Or so Ernol hoped...

*

The days were passing, and it was all still looking very gloom. Haron was eating properly, sleeping, and taking care of staying clean, but his eyes were still looking empty. It was as if his soul was not there, and Ernol was starting to freak out. What if he will stay like that forever? His full of life, silly brother, reduced to this... living corpse. It was killing him, and he had to get this out, before it would drive him insane.  
But since there was no one around to talk to, he decided to do the only thing he could think of - he found courage to visit Alenca's grave.  
He figured out its location earlier, just to confirm she was properly buried, but then run away as fast as he could. Not this time though.  
He stood there in silence, for the longest time, for the first time really processing that she was truly gone. With all that happened before, the quarrel with Haron, and now this state of emptiness, there was not much time to really consider it. He had lots to tell her. About what was happening now. About being sorry for running away. About his regrets. But most of all, he wanted to tell her, how he really felt.  
"Alenca... There was always something... I always... Since, the very beggining..." He started quietly, almost inaudible. Ah, thank god it was raining.

*

Ernol was doing his best. Was taking Haron for walks, read him books, talked to him, even tried to make him help out with some chores around the house. Most of the time it seemed to do no good, but sometimes, there were these little moments in which Haron's eyes seemed to light up a bit. That's why Ernol was still trying, and that's why he was still hesitating with informing anyone about the whole situation.  
There were also the unusual happenings, like that one time when they were sitting in the living room. Ernol was in the middle of out loud read, and Haron suddenly produced a quiet sentence.  
"Are you even real?" His voice sounded quite emotionless, but there was that insecure spark in his gaze. That's when Ernol realized fully, Haron's state was not only caused by Alenca's death. Him coming back, out of nowhere, without explanation... If that's what Haron wanted to happen, was he afraid it was just a delusion? A trick of his suffering mind, meant to comfort him at least a bit? Did he cut himself off, to escape the dark thoughts? Whatever was the case, it seemed that there was some kind of internal struggle going on inside of Haron, even though it was difficult to pinpoint. Ernol let himself hope again.

*

It all changed unexpectedly. Ernol just finished getting out the last bits of trash out of the ruined bedroom, when he got a sudden attack of violent coughing. He had quite simple explanation for that, he spend like solid two hours standing in the cold rain after all, just a few days back. But of course, his younger brother could not know that.  
Ernol did not expect it at all, but all of the sudden Haron was right next to him, with a frown on his face, and a fear in his eyes.  
"No, no, no... Not you as well..." He sounded almost panicked. Ernol took few long breaths, a bit confused. Was he dreaming? No, it did not seem so, so why so suddenly...  
Ah.  
It was about Alenca yet again, wasn't it? Her illness started just so, so it was probably why...  
Did the deep fear break off the stagnation?  
"It's just a cold Haron..." He said cautiously, with shaky voice. Was Haron really back? Or was it just for a moment?  
There was a bit of silence. Haron's face filled with a doubt.  
"But..."  
Ernol decided to belive in this little miracle. That meant, he had to start, with calming his brother down.  
"No. It is. I promise..." He looked straight into Haron's eyes. It took a few second, but in the end younger elf nodded, even though with great hesitation.  
"Haron.. I... It's... I'm glad you're back..." Ernol turned away his gaze, ashamed. Not only because he just expressed a bit of his feelings just now, but also because he remembered all to well the past six months and all the happenings.  
"I didn't mean what I said back then Ernol, I didn't... Please don't hate me..." It seemed, that now the indifference was gone, all the dams gave way. So right there, Haron started crying, awkwardly clutching onto Ernol's arm. It was all getting out now, half a year of regretting said things, watching Alenca slowly die every single day, fearing that his brother truly hates him...  
For a while Ernol was just standing there, awkwardly, not being sure what to do. Then, he decided, to put a hand on top of Haron's head, and stroke it gently.  
"I don't hate you Haron... I'm sorry as well..." There was much more he wanted to say, but that was enough for now. To hell with that all! His eyes got dangerously blurry as well. And to think he was convinced he let it all go during his "talk" with Alenca. He could not shake off that deep feeling of relief though.  
Ernol was not quite sure how it happened, but in the end, he was hugging his crying brother, as if he was not a grown-up elf, but a lil kid, and for some reason it did not feel all that awkward at all.

*

It turned out to be a matter of simple cold in the end. It did not stop Haron from forcing Ernol into full, few days long in bed stay however. Just in case, as he said.  
"You still need to rest. Don't pout."  
"Haron, I'm FINE. I can..." His sentence was interrupted by a small cough, which made Haron pull off "I told you so" kind of smirk.  
"As you can see, you are not fully recovered yet." For a second younger brother's face darkened.  
"Are you sure you are feeling better though? No suspicious weakness or anything?" Ernol groaned, which made Haron smile a little. Even though he was still feeling pretty insecure about the whole cold thing. After what he was through with Alenca, the thought of even the smallest illness was making him paralyzed with fear. He didn't want to lose anyone else.  
There was a long pause before Haron decided to speak again. He seemed unsure and hesitating.  
"Say... Would you come back here if not for..." He did not finish the sentence. He did not have to. His older brother let out a long sigh.  
"I don't know..." Haron could not help but to feel a bit hurt. He did deserve it though, didn't he?  
Ernol decided that his answer needed more explanation. Otherwise that tortured look on Haron's face would refuse to go away.  
"I don't know if I would find enough courage otherwise. It gave me the final push I needed." Haron nodded slowly, and then smiled. He could feel it was not completely like before, that they were both hurt and insecure, but at least, for sure, there was no room for hate and anger between them.

*

"We made up. And it seems like you were right shouting, wanting me to go after him - to apologize properly. It would solve everything earlier.  
But I could not leave you behind, you know that. You were so very weak and...  
Ah, but it's all good now. He is trying his best as well. And we even talk sometimes, like very honestly, about everything what happened...  
It will be fine, so you don't need to worry anymore Madralee, you told me to swear, when you knew your time was short.  
And I did.  
But it took me a while to keep my word. Even longer since I was in the very dark place in the meantime. But he helped me get out of it.  
But now, even though I still love you.  
I'm finally ready to let you go...  
As promised."

**Author's Note:**

> So...  
> There it is.  
> Haron is crying again, Ernol as well, and everything hurts.
> 
> I am very sorry about all the mistakes, cause I am sure this fics has lots of them. So I hope some people will still be able to enjoy it.
> 
> Also, thank you to all the awesome people on EL discord.  
> If not for you, I would not have the courage to try out english writing.


End file.
